Such a Twat

I would like to think I am of above-average intelligence. I really would. But when I do things like somehow place a shoebox full of photo equipment in my closet and then promptly think that it has been stolen or lost in transit from the US to Japan, and then go about buying replacements for some but (as it turns out luckily) not all of said equipment only to find the mysterious shoebox hiding in my closet with now-redundant equipment literally spilling out, well, that really puts a damper on my above-average intelligence assumptions.

Nothing New Under the Sun

Not quite sunset, October 2009.

My God Can Beat Up Your God

Japan is a wonderful place for a variety of reasons that elude me at the moment, but foremost among them is the cleanliness here and respect people have for property. I never have ever seen any of my skateboard friends litter, even once, and these are skateboarders we're talking about: the most degenerate scum of the earth, right? And discounting a half a handful of Japanese-style toilets I've encountered at public parks, even the public bathrooms are pristine and certainly more inviting than any mall/convenience store/city hall/department store/anything toilets in the U.S. I find myself looking for reasons to use the wonderful toilets at shopping centers, especially in the winter when those heated seats are just amazing. The all-around tidy-ness was my most common answer when people would inquire how I found Japan directly after I moved here 3 long years ago.
There is one semi-common occurrence here that seems to fly in the face of what-all I have just said, with just another example intruding upon my day today: public urination. Apparently peeing out in the open is not really discouraged. While driving home from work I noticed an otherwise respectable old man just whizzing on the side of the road, making no effort to hide behind a tree or shield his old pruned-up wiener from view. And how about that guy who just commenced to peeing in the middle of a well-traveled sidewalk one night while we were skating? His blazenness would probably constitute sexual harassment in the U.S. But not here, just one in a long tradition of peeing when the fuck ever the feeling overcomes you. I can't help but wonder how a couple of my friends' lives would be turning out differently if public urination was more encouraged than illegalized back in New York.

Didn't We Deserve a Look at You the Way You Really Are

I got off my ass and stared at some more strangers through my hip. Take a peak.

3 Years Long and Rising

2 October, 2006.



2 October, 2009.

Hootie Hoo

Even though I try to be a considerate husband and general human-being, I do not always succeed. Case in point:
I am sitting here just delaying the inevitable bedtime and slippage into oblivion while wading through YouTube. And so of course I had to watch some Dave Chappelle stand-up, which despite having seen it before was still really goddamned funny.
And that was the problem: Chappelle is doing his bit about purple drinks and homeless masterbation and I am cracking the fuck up. And Sayori is trying to not be awake, but my cackling is making that very hard to do.

Sorry honey.

Work Hard/Play Hard

farming is tought fucking work.

Huh?

what the fuck does any of that mean?

a short walk

What Would the Community Think?

An update from the recesses of Hamamatsu...

Half-Thought

Lately I've noticed that I've become quite a light-weight at drinking (and unfortunately not at life). And I'm of two minds about that: it sure is economical to be a little bitch and get tipsy off of two beers; but it's also not great to be a little bitch under any circumstances. If I a) had friends or b) didn't have a goddamned family tying me down I'd try and go out drinking more often. But I don't really want to meander into one of the three bars that cater to my 'kind' by myself, nor do I want to be jarred awake three hours into a stupor by my daughter's requests to go pee and/or poop. So that leaves me little inclination and time for becoming a real man and drinking frequently and strongly with little outward adverse effect.

anybody out there?

want to be my Mad Men buddy and discuss that wonderful television program with me?

This Ain't No Picnic

It's a BBQ!

Summer Freeze

James Incandenza's father would seriously hate living in my apartment. While none of the spiders seem poisonous (not that I would know) and they do a more than serviceable job at catching and eating these little green bugs that only seem to exist in my neighborhood, they are running a bit amok in the stairway. I have almost walked into a couple baroque webs while coming home after work. And I have not almost walked into a few harder-to-spot spider webs after work.

With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept

I am a very sound sleeper. Whenever my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night for whatever reason, Sayori has to go take care of her, because I am oblivious to just about everything while I'm in my sleep cocoon. But even I woke up when the earthquake, um, quaked(?) early yesterday morning. The combination of the typhoon that was battering the house with rain and wind and the quake had me convinced the apocalypse was just around the corner. But the only thing affected by the 'quake was a bottle of wine that tumbled off of the refrigerator and still didn't break. Fortunately it wasn't Rapture so I just went back to sleep with Umi who didn't even stir during the event.

From The Desk Of Elsewhere Go

My wonderful little girl used to be, well, wonderful. Now she is 2 1/2 years old, so she's definitely on the 'terrible' side of the spectrum at the moment. While getting a sunburn today and trying to persuade her to come with me to the car to escape the sun, she willfully walked in the opposite direction shouting in English and Japanese that we should go this way, over here. I thought if I kept walking towards the car she would eventually get the point or perhaps get frightened at being alone and start hurtling to the car. Instead she calmly kept walking and then sat down and played with some rocks while almost out of earshot of me. Let me tell you, she's getting too goddamned heavy to carry anymore.

In The Mind Of The Bourgeois Reader

I have become an expert on almost any subject imaginable. Religion? Check. History? Check. Etymology? Check (though that one is less of a stretch of reality than the others). Algebra? Check. Environmentalism? Check.
Somehow in the course of teaching in my rambling manner my students and I encounter these subjects and I put forth my interpretations as gospel. That is assuming my students understand what the hell I'm talking about, which I'm not at liberty to really assume.
Take for example a couple of recent discourses on Christianity in the past two months: In Japan there are Catholics and there are Protestants. As in Protestants are one denomination unto themselves, united in all aspects, so far as anyone has explained it to me. And some people have heard of Jews but they don't seem to have much of a presence, at least in Hamamatsu. One of my students didn't understand 'monotheism' (who can blame her?) so I got to explaining Christianity's and Judaism's (and Islam's) shared history of belief in one god and how Jesus was Jewish and Christians and Jews believe in the same exact story up to Jesus and then they diverge and yada yada while mentioning such luminaries in their time as Moses and Abraham and King David. While with another student promelgated the Protestant branch of Christianity theory to me and I broke down the history of the Reformation and Martin Luther in whatever year and how all these different styles of Christianity existed in different areas and some of the main differences among them and contrasting them with Catholic mass and transubstantiation and communion. While in reality I don't even know how to answer the question, "Are you Christian?" and assuredly fabricated not just some details of my unwieldy synopsis of Christianity. And that was before I started in on the Bible itself (fueled in no small part by Mr. David Cross' Shut Up, You Fucking Baby!) or got into Mormons. Add to the list of why people have middle names, what 20/20 vision means and how is that number derived, and who the hell know how many other topics, add religion as just another thing to explain like adverbs or the past perfect tense.
I am a fucking genius I guess.

The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack

What have I been up to lately besides getting sunburned on a cloudy day, you ask?



Spending some family time watching:

はなび! (That's fire-flowers to all the gaijin out there).



And not getting out very often as of late. So when I do go out it is quite a big fucking deal. This is Gori-san's restaurant's 1-year-anniversary party. If you want soba go to Naru.



(most of the posse.)

Naked Nudies

Umi gets along with some of her friends really well, and with others she argues and fights and bites. Yuzuha pictured above in the bathtub falls into the former category. Though they were supposed to have a sleep-over on this pictured night but Yuzu-chan couldn't get comfortable and so had to eventually drive home so as to sleep.

camera

i got a new camera and as a result have no excuse for not taking pictures on the regular. so i will be updating this a little more often than 3 times a year, i hope. take a look.

I felt your shape

I feel like my body is disintegrating all around me. My feet have had a strange pain emanating from the pinkie toe region which may be related to the peeling skin in the same area. My gluteus muscles have been achey from time to time. Simply walking started forcing one or the other of my ankles to hurt a lot. And my left thumb won't crack like normal and seems suspiciously swollen.
My mom is afflicting my body from beyond the grave, yipee!

REQUIESCAT IN PACE Catherine Sue Donahue Ray 19 July, 1958-22 June, 2009. Lung Cancer.

We Fight Till Death

My mom is dying. Soon. The last three times I spoke with her were heart-wrenching. Completely out of it in a morphine fog. Slipping in and out of consciousness. Repeatedly asking me to come home quickly–which I want to do except I'm in fucking impossible to be farther away Japan, literally half way around the world. Somehow suddenly surprised after almost a year of being mostly even-keeled about her condition and situation and prognosis et alia.
Her sister is there helping to look after her while my dad is at work. Surely this has been the first time I've ever heard my step dad so emotional. One of her other sisters is coming tomorrow. But not me, I still have 12 days until I arrive in Durham. And I think we'll all be amazed if she is still there when I get off the plane.

Hurry up, June. Hurry up.

The possibilities are endless

this is amazing!

Not a great thing to look at if you are easily offended or some sad sack who worries where the pictures come from.